Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I do need to have some fun!

I do love my job! At least the part where I get to actually teach kids. The thing that gets me down is that every day when I leave, the whole time I am away, I am thinking about how much I should be doing to be ready for the next day. If it isn't that, it is the mountain of papers that I need to grade, or the "homework" I have to do from one of my staff development activities. There are also the sad stories I know are the actual lives of kids. You can't just leave that at school. I don't really want to, but I can't help them and it makes me so damned depressed. I waffle back and forth on whether I should find something else. Each time I think I just can't do it any longer, I wonder what else I could actually do. I wish there were a place, a website, a counseling service, something, for teachers who need to make a change. A friend once told me that one of her friends took a day off to go out job hunting. Her discovery was that there was nothing that she was qualified to do but teach. Dear God! If that is the case, I am in deep doo-doo! I can see myself sticking it out for another 4 1/2 years, until Campbell gets done, but then something has got to give.

Erin is right. I need some grown up entertainment. I do need to talk Ol' Dan into taking me up to the home of the World Series Bound Cleveland Indians! (please, please...) I need to meet his college friend and chill. I need to be Beth for a little while, not Ms. Aspray!

If anyone out there has any ideas, I am open to suggestions. What can a middle aged, mother of 2, who needs benefits, do to make a good living. Anyone been where I am right now and found a good solution?

Seems too depressing - so here is something not so dismal. The weekend is coming and I can't wait. I don't have any plans yet, but the weather is supposed to be beautiful. It is fall, and I can't think of a more wonderul time of year. There is something about being outside and feeling nice and cool, but the sun shining on your hair until it feels hot. The smell of the pine straw and leaves makes me feel like my spirit is just outside of myself enough to be part of the crisp air. There is no other time as wonderful. My favorite day of the year is the day that it changes from daylight savings to standard time. I love that extra hour, and no matter how tired I am, I stay up for another hour, just because... It is best when shared with someone you love.

I called someone about an add for a potter's kick wheel. maybe they will call me back and I can work on my setting up my studio this weekend. That would be sweet!

Now I can go to sleep, dreaming of what I will be when I "grow up", and wake up tomorrow, one day closer to the weekend. Anticipation can be a good thing.

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